Helpful Hints & Links

See a recent article in About Town on grief and healing:  Birds in the Morning

My blog is here.

When grief hits us, we often feel completely stopped.  As much as we wish the pain would go away, that we could just pretend nothing has changed, there is no way around it; we cannot pretend it does not hurt.  What should we do?  How can we even get out of bed in the morning?  Here are some ideas for helping yourself get through the early days of grief:

• Take care of yourself. Remember to eat. If you are having trouble with this, ask someone close to you to remind you or to bring you something simple and tasty. Drink soothing teas, such as peppermint, chamomile, licorice or just something you really like.  Drink lots of water to replace the liquid lost in your tears. 
•  Be gentle with yourself. Right now, it really is all about you, what you need, how you feel. If you are tired, sleep. Let yourself cry; it is better to release feelings than bottle them up.
• When people ask if there is anything they can do, give them a task.  Have them bring you food, pick up the newspaper. Ask them to come over and sit with you if you like them, or send them to do something you don't want to take care of.
•  Pay no attention to anyone who tells you what you "should" do or what you "should" be feeling. They do not know.
• Make a list of things that must be done, in order of importance. If you do one of these items a day, you will have accomplished something goo. If you can't, that's okay too.
• Just as you must allow yourself to feel awful and express these feelings, it is equally important to allow for some normalcy.  Taking a walk outside even if it is only for a short time can be relaxing.  Listen to music, sit with friends and family and share funny stories about your loved one.

Remember, the most creative thing you can do is nurture yourself.  Be compassionate to yourself – this is the essence of Karuna!

 

Online support for widows - a site that saved my sanity

Grief's Journey - a support and resource board


Grief links on a members only site for widow/ers who have recoupled


Riva's sacred approach to creativity


Hospice Care in the Hudson Valley


Hospice Care in New York City