What you can do right now

When grief hits us, we often feel completely stopped.  As much as we wish the pain would go away,
that we could just pretend nothing has changed, there is no way around it, 
we can't pretend it doesn't hurt.  

Just as you must allow yourself to feel awful and express these feelings, it is equally important to allow for some normalcy.  
Taking a walk outside even if it is only for a short time can be relaxing. 
Listen to music, sit with friends and family and share funny stories about your loved one.

What can we do?  

How can we even get out of bed in the morning?  

Here are some ideas for helping yourself get through the early days of grief:


Take care of yourself.
Remember to eat. If you are having trouble with this, ask someone close to you to remind you or to bring you something
simple and tasty. Drink soothing teas, such as peppermint, chamomile, licorice or just something you really like.  
Drink lots of water to replace the liquid lost in your tears. 

Be gentle with yourself.
Right now, it really is all about you, what you need, how you feel. If you are tired, sleep. Let yourself cry; it is better to release feelings than bottle them up.

When people ask if there is anything they can do, give them a task.  
Have them bring you food, pick up the newspaper. Ask them to come over and sit with you if you like them, or send them to do something you don't want to take care of.

Don't 'should' on yourself
People may tell you what you "should" do or what you "should" be feeling. Don't listen, they do not know.

Make a list of things that must be done, in order of importance.
If you do one of these items a day, you will have accomplished something good. If you can't, that's okay too. 


Remember, the most creative thing you can do is nurture yourself.  
Be compassionate to yourself – this is the essence of Karuna!